FLORIDA MAN STRIKES AGAIN!: Pizza Delivery Driver Ejaculates On Customers Pizzas

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Miami, Florida – Max Green (24), was fired from a local pizza delivery chain. Due to privacy, the name of the restaurant will be withheld pending a police investigation into this sticky situation.

Green had been a delivery driver for 3yrs before any complaints had been filed against him. Pizzas were being delivered cold and not on time. Some pizzas had not even been cut into slices. According to Green, “I got fed up from not getting tipped by the same customers over and over. Some of them had big ole houses and nice cars. I figure that’s money in the bank… Whelp nope! Then an idea comes to me ‘If they won’t give me a tip, I’ll give them something that’ll leave a funny taste in their mouths.'”

The pizza’s would arrive looking normal in every aspect. “It took me until the third slice when I noticed a strange liquid type material drip down my slice and pool in the box. I dipped my finger in the unknown goo and proceeded to do a taste test. It didn’t take me but 3 seconds to realize what it was. I was horrified!” – Identity of the victim(s) is being withheld as this is an ongoing investigation.

Authorities are still investigating and collecting evidence at this point and have nothing to comment. Green is now trying to become a social media legend. “I figure people can become memes for stuff not nearly as cool as this ya know? I’m also thinking as starting my own pizza business called ‘Come Again Pizza’.”

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