Calista Reynolds (28) of Inglewood California, has been arrested after a man called police saying she had just stole his penis. The man, Alex Daniels (33) went on to say that they had had an argument about his flirting with a waitress during dinner at a local restaurant, an accusation he vehemently denies. Calista’s response was pour glue into her vagina, entice Alex into bed, and permanently attached his penis inside her, so in her words, “I’ll always know what you’re doing with your dick”.
As you can imagine the argument escalated when when Alex realized his penis was stuck in Calista’s vagina. It was during the ensuing kerfuffle that Alex’s manhood was ripped off inside her vagina. Calista took off out the front door. Knowing it wouldn’t be wise to chase after her with his wound gushing blood, Alex called the police and asked for paramedics to rush over.
Several days passed before authorities caught up with Calista. She was sleeping in her car at abandoned parking lot on the edge of the city. While being placed into custody officers noted that the penis in question was still glued in her vagina all these days later. At this point the penis is no longer viable for reattachment and is now a lost cause. Penis still in vagina, she was taken in for questioning. Calista could not exercise her right to remain silent, and or remain calm. She was placed in a straight jacket after several hours of incoherent ramblings and flailing around.
Alex had already been sewn up and was recovering at the hospital when he got the news that Calista had been arrested, “I’m glad she was caught. I’m sad I lost my wiener. Doctors says I will experience a sensation known as ‘Phantom Penis’ where it will feel like it’s still there. The only bright side out of this whole mess is that I will be able to choose any prosthetic penis I want”, said a hopeful Alex.
Calista is being held on aggravated assault and battery charges and will face a judge in the ensuing months at a Los Angeles County Courthouse. She faces up to 15 years in jail if convicted on all charges.
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