Ben Waller (44) of Houston Texas, worked the corporate side of the oil and gas industry for 20 years. He made quite a bit of money over the years and decided to retire early to enjoy the fruits of his labor.
Ben was also glad to be rid of the co-workers so shallow they could drown in a puddle. As typical of any goodbye party for an oil and gas employee, they pulled out all the stops in saying goodbye to Ben. There was a full table of BBQ meats and sides. Cornhole for the sports guys to play and plenty of Keystone Light to go around. The center piece was the cake. A massive creation made to look like a barrel of oil.
In the weeks and days leading up to his final day of work, Ben wanted to leave in a way no one would ever forget. His idea? To spike his going away cake with laxatives. And spike it he did! Over 10 boxes of Ex-Lax when into that cake. Not one to be left out Ben also planned on having some cake too. I mean who wouldn’t want to shit on the floor of their former employer?
It was cake time and everyone was ready to chow down. Milton from the basement came up in hopes of landing a slice. 120 pieces of cake were dispersed and within an hour of ingestion over 100 people had uncontrollable diarrhea. The scene was everything Ben had hoped for and more. Shit running down the legs of people desperate to get into an already full bathroom. People shat in trashcans and in the elevators.
The chaos put a smile so big on Ben Waller’s face that he was eventually found out. He was booked in Harris County jail on charges of criminal mischief. No one is likely to press charges because no one wants to go on record talking about shitting themselves.
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