Los Angeles, CA- Craig Ledbetter (33), has been placed into custody at the Los Angeles County Jail, after reports came in from all over Downtown Los Angeles that a man had been seen running up to other men and cutting off their “Man Buns”. Dozens of men filled the police station to press charges after their Top-Knots or Man Buns were removed by Craig Ledbetter. “He attacked me and aggressively removed my Top-Knot. I was in fear for my life from this mad man. It will take me years to regrow my hair. I hope he gets the punishment he deserves for wounding me so viciously.”, said a victim of Ledbetter’s.
Each assault can come with a sentence of 18 months in jail. That adds up to a staggering 55 and 1/2 years in jail if convicted of all charges and sentenced consecutively. After a psychological evaluation, Los Angeles County district attorneys will decide how to move forward. Bad news for Craig Ledbetter is that word has it they are planning on making an example of him, “You cannot assault an Angelino and not have consequences. Literally dozen’s of mens lives have forever been altered negatively. Years of therapy and hair regrowth is in the future for all of this man’s victims. Our hope is to thwart the aspirations of the next terrorist waiting for their turn, by making an example of Craig Ledbetter.”, said the Deputy D.A. for Los Angeles County, Benjamin Rivers.
While he was being detained our reporters were able to hear some of what Ledbetter was saying, “I am a messenger from God. The Lord spoke to me this morning. He told me that men need to stop posing as women. I was told that I was to be his soldier here on earth doing his work. I have done nothing wrong. I was doing the Lord’s work!”, and with that he was off for his psychological evaluation.
The local “Locks Of Love” foundation is putting on a hair drive to try and create 37 Faux top-knots and or man buns for the victims. If you would like to donate your hair please contact you closest Locks of Love and they will point you in the right direction.