131 Year Old Woman Says “Sucking A D*ck A Day, Keeps The Grim Reaper Away”.

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Modesto, CA- Eugenia Wilson is 131 years young. She is the oldest recorded person to ever live in Modesto California and the question everyone wants to know is, “What is the secret to a long life?”. Without hesitation, Eugenia said, “A healthy diet of daily oral sex and whisky. I would like it to be known that it is the combined giving and receiving of oral satisfaction I speak of. It’s polite to return the favor if you catch my drift”, she said with a wink.

“Now with the whisky, you don’t want to overdo it. 4-6 shots daily has been my routine the last 80 years and so far so good. And don’t forget that sucking a dick a day, keeps the grim reaper away”. Eugenia knows that her “tips” for longevity will come as a shock for many, “All my friends have come and gone. My children have all passed. Not everyone can excel in a life that requires oral stimulation. My mom taught me from an early age to ‘keep his balls empty and his belly full’ and as it turns out that advice is also an effective recipe for long life”.

Eugenia will not tell us who it is that is keeping her orally stimulated, but she did have this to say, “I don’t like to settle down. I have several gentleman suitors which keep me occupied”.

While this lifestyle may not produce the same results for everyone, we applaud Eugenia on her 131 years and wish her the very best of luck on the next 131 years.

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