Lancaster, CA- Rami Randavi (32), is convalescing at home after the successful removal of a crucifix from his anal cavity. Rami a long time atheist, has been married for 3 years to his wife, Julie. He let it be known early on in their dating history, that while he respected her belief in Jesus, he was a stanch atheist and would appreciate not being forced into her way of thinking.
Apparently Julie never fully let go of the idea that many have about their partners, the idea that they can change them. Julie was beginning to feel pressure from those at her church to have her husband baptized and enter the Christian faith. Knowing better than try to have a conversation about conversion with her husband, Julie decided to take a different approach and personally introduce Ravi to Jesus.
Early this past Sunday morning Ravi woke up to incredible pain in his anus and lower abdomen. Blood stained the marital bed. His wife was at church so he dialed 911 on his phone and waited for help. X-Rays at the hospital showed there was a Crucifix that had been inserted up his anus and into his rectal cavity. Once doctors told him what they had found he instantly knew his wife was responsible for the insertion of the Crucifix.
Julie was brought from church to the police station for questioning where she fully admitted to putting the Crucifix up his anus in hopes of helping him find Jesus, “I truly believed that he would wake up and feel the presence of Jesus Christ in his life. I gave it 50/50 odds he would either rush off to meet me at church to get baptized or he would reject the offer of Christ and seek to have the Crucifix removed by medical professionals. Obviously sitting here with you know, he chose not to allow Jesus into his life”.
Ravi refused to press charges and while he is still an atheist, he has found it within himself to forgive Julie. “Having the Crucifix up my butt may not have helped me find Jesus, but I did discover that I do enjoy anal stimulation via probing. So not a total loss”.
Leave a Reply