Upset About Finding Bacon Bits In His Salad, Vegan Man Shits On Restaurant Floor In Protest

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Ojai, CA- Perry Detwiler (28), caused a scene at Frank’s Natural Foods restaurant when he dropped his pants and began to shit on the floor. Witnesses claim Frank began to be upset when he found several Real Meat bacon bits in his salad. “I saw his salad. There were like two or three tiny pieces of bacon bits and this dude just flipped the f*ck out! He could have just picked them out, but he decided to get all offended instead. When the wait staff asked him to relax, I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but he stood up, dropped his pants, and shit directly on the floor. It was the most damnedest thing I’ve ever seen in my life. Some vegan dude dropping logs on a restaurant floor because he was offended by a little bacon. I can’t wait to tell all my friends”, witness Max Clemens told us.

All patrons dining at the time of the defection, received free meals and vouchers for a wine tasting event happening next month. Perry Detwiler has been permanently banned from Frank’s Natural Foods.

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