Christmas Is Cancelled This Year Due To Santa’s Drug Habit He Funded By Pimping Out His Elves.


North Pole- Kris Kringle A.K.A. “Santa Claus”, was arrested for running a prostitution ring. Kringle had developed himself a methamphetamine habit to help keep him awake while delivering presents around the globe and he require large amounts of money for drugs.

According to the North Pole police, Kringle needed a new way to fund his ever increasing drug habit. He asked for volunteers to become prostitutes and he was to be their pimp. Several of the female elves and a couple of the males were tired of making presents all the time, so they signed up.

The operation fell apart when one of the elves got pregnant. Mrs. Kringle couldn’t understand how an elf could get pregnant when she had no husband. It just didn’t make any sense. Mrs. Kringle began doing some investigating and that’s when she caught on to what was really going on. Santa was a dope fiend and he was pimping the elves out.

Mrs. Kringle called the North Pole police and helped set up a sting to bring down the whole operation. Because of his good works over the years, the judge was lenient on him. Christmas would have to be canceled this year as Kris Kringle will be spending the next 3 months in jail before entering a court ordered rehab. The elves who participated in prostitution, were only sentenced to probation as they were first time offenders.


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