Man Recounts How He “Accidentally” Lost His Testicles Inside A Vacuum

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Martin Andover arrived at the hospital in severe pain. Blood was steadily leaking from his crotch. Doctors rushed to see what was happening to his nether regions. “The pillar was there, but the stones were gone”, a doctor said. Martin was asked if he knew the location of his testicles and he replied, “they should be inside my Shop-Vac”.

Doctors looked at him incredulously and asked him to elaborate his story to possibly help them aid in his treatment. “It was all just an accident that started out so innocently. I was watching Wheel of Fortune in my garage and Vanna was looking fine as usual and the urge to jack off hit me. I had just gotten done cleaning out my 10hp Shop-Vac and thought ‘why not?’. That’s about all the thought I had to put into it. Soon after I had a raging boner and stuffed it into the hose of the Shop-Vac and I had my eyes glued on Vanna. Shit was going real well. Well that is, until I came”.

According to doctors, Martins ejaculation caused his penis to diminish in size causing a loss of suction in the Vacuum, “When he penis shrank the power of the vacuum increased causing the balls to get swept up in the vortex. The human scrotum is not rated to handle a 10 horsepower vacuum. The sack split in two and his balls were swept away in the commotion”.

Andover’s balls were recovered, but by the time there were found it was too late to save them. It was said that Martin can now choose any set of prosthetic testicles he likes. Martin said, “I’m gonna get me some big ass balls!”, we wish you and your new balls the best of luck!

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