Thomasville, Georgia- “Out of respect for the dead, we will now be using the term ‘heterocide‘ in place of ‘homocide‘. Last thing we need to do is insult the dead by calling them a Homo.”. These were some of the transcripts from a city council meeting that unanimously voted to stop the use of homocide in favor of the far less insulting heterocide when referring to the crime of murder.
It all started with one resident of Thomasville speaking before the city council about his cousin that was murdered and how all the papers called it a, “Homocide“. “People were calling my cousin a homosexual after that there newspaper report. That’s bullshit. He wasn’t no homo. He was a heterosexual. I mean he liked women and we would drink beers all the time and talk about banging chicks and whatnot. So, esteemed council members I beg of you to stop allowing the use of “Homocide” when it comes to murder. It’s not fair to classify the dead with homos, they deserve better. So out of respect for the dead, I plead with you to vote yes for this change.”, Willy Parsons, cousin of a heterocide victim.
By the time the next council meeting came around, the framework for permantley changing the towns’ nomenclature in regards to murder, had been set in place. All that was left was for the esteemed council members of Thomasville to vote on the matter. 5-0 was the vote in favor of replacing the “offensive” ‘homocide‘, with the more “respectful” ‘heterocide‘.
“I feel like my cousin can finally rest in peace now that people aren’t calling him a homo no more.”, a jovial Willy Parson told us after the vote came down.
Will this be the beginning of something larger? Only time will tell. For now, rest assured that if you were to be killed in Thomasville Georgia, no one will make fun of you for being a homo, unless of course you are one.
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